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My most personal blog yet…

How I Lost 100 lbs in 500 Days

The problem…

These stories always start with, “I’ve struggled with weight loss all of my life.” I’m not sure that’s true for me. Sometimes it wasn’t a struggle. I lost a lot of weight without trying while I was going through my first divorce. (“It was really easy once I lost the first 200 lbs!”) Then I started to gain weight when I got my first desk job. I didn’t hate myself or struggle with it every day. I was doing pretty well. I just ate out a lot, and sometimes I had ice cream for lunch. I was not a chronic dieter like some who tell this story. In comparison to many women, I didn’t invest a lot of time, energy, or money into weight loss. Sometimes I was really good at loving myself no matter what size I wore. More often, I was completely and blissfully unaware of how big I had gotten. I struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (in the summer) and bouts of crippling panic attacks and anxiety. Food was a comfort in difficult times, and it was a tool for celebration when times were good. And a lot of times were good. And when we are happy – we eat. Everything in the world seems to revolve around eating. Every emotion. Every activity. Every minute of every day. It’s not just a “me” problem. It’s not just my family. It’s not even just an American thing. If you want statistics, you can find them, but this is only indirectly about the obesity epidemic. This is personal. It’s about me.

And the truth about the problem…

Hi. My name is Trina. And I am a Food Addict. I have never been to a 12 step meeting for food addiction, so I have never used that phraseology before. But I use it now, and not in jest. This is still hard for me to admit. It’s hard for me to talk about. It’s difficult for me to put this out there into the cosmos, because if there’s one thing I know about addiction it’s that everyone blames an addict. We don’t blame people when they are physically ill, and we are making a bit of progress around mental health stigmas, but with addiction the song remains the same – the addict is to blame. That makes me feel very vulnerable, but if my story will help one other person I need to share it.

Around the age of 12, when my friends decided to try smoking, I declined. At that tender age, I had enough self-awareness to know that if I started smoking I would quickly gain myself a 4-pack a day habit. I felt like I was already hooked on caffeine, so I knew I was highly susceptible to addiction. What I missed was the other key addictive ingredient in my caffeine-delivery-system. I didn’t make the connection that I was addicted to sugar. People talked about caffeine as a habit-forming substance. No one talked about sugar that way. I had a key piece of data that kept me from getting mixed up in some much harder stuff, but I never questioned my socially-acceptable (and encouraged) sugar addiction.

Why I got hooked on BLE

The program I used to lose 100 lbs in 500 days treats sugar and flour as addictive substances, i.e., drugs. I highly encourage reading the book Bright Line Eating if you want to understand the science of how these substances act in the brain. Let me be clear in saying that not all brains have the same level of susceptibility. Everyone is not equally prone to this addiction. You probably know the same is true of alcohol or opiates. Not everyone who eats sugar will be addicted. All sugar/flour addicts are not overweight. This program works just as well for people who don’t identify as food addicts. That’s fine. Those people are great, and they are having the same amazing success. But this program works for ME, because it is designed to help people recover from Food Addiction. If you want to assess your own likelihood of addiction to sugar and flour, take the Food Freedom Quiz. Then drop me a line at trina@givencontext.com if you want to talk about it and find out more.

As I mentioned, this is not the first time I have lost weight. During that first divorce I got downright thin. Much later, I found myself at my highest weight ever: 317 lbs. My doctor wanted to refer me for gastric bypass surgery, but my insurance would not pay for it. I was not thrilled about the thought of any kind of surgery and asked “why wouldn’t we try EVERYTHING else first?” Well, that doctor had no qualms about recommending a risky surgery (which he later had himself,) but he would not prescribe weight loss drugs because of his religion… so I changed doctors, and I got a magic pill, and in a couple of years I had lost 135 lbs. I was active: running 5Ks, doing yoga and zumba, and lifting weights. And I was not prepared for what losing 135 lbs did to my body. I was much more self-conscious at 185 lbs than I was at 317. Everything was sagging, and it sort of (really) freaked me out. I had zero support to help me deal with these changes. Add the fact that I (re)met my now-husband and “settled down” again… and a few years later I had regained 90 lbs of what I had lost.

The thing about losing 135 lbs on weight loss drugs was that I ate whatever I wanted, I was just having smaller portions… so that worked… until it didn’t. And after that weight loss is the first time in my life I remember having insatiable cravings for SUGAR. I was literally breaking my teeth eating rock candy – AKA pure sugar. I had always been a meat and potatoes kind of gal, and I always liked sweets. But this was a new level of craving. And this is when I first explored the idea of food addiction.

I had these conversations with my husband and tried to get him to understand what I was dealing with, but it’s hard to explain it to someone when you don’t understand it yourself. I looked into 12 steps but there were no OA or FAA meetings in my area. And I wasn’t the biggest fan of the 12 steps doctrine. But how else does a food addict get help? I mean – you can’t just stop eating! A girl has to eat!

Enter Dr. Susan Peirce Thompson. She confirmed that a girl does, in fact, have to eat. But she doesn’t have to eat sugar. And she doesn’t have to eat flour.

WHAT did she say!!??!!

I know what you’re thinking when you read that. “I could NEVER give up sugar and flour.” Right? Well… Exhibit A: ME. If I can do this, anyone, and I do mean anyone, can do this. You have to be ready. And you have to be willing. But you are already able.

But here was the real clincher: Susan has been there. Not only has she struggled with food and weight, but she was addicted to drugs and alcohol. She has been through the wringer. Her food addiction really ramped up when she kicked the drugs and alcohol. Then she found Bright Lines for food. She used these four Bright Lines to lose her excess weight. And here’s what sold me. Here’s what made me call my husband to discuss how to lay down the money for this program and ask for his support in making a total lifestyle change. (I still love him for saying, “Whatever you need!”) Susan not only lost her weight. She kept it off! At the time that I signed up, she had kept it off for 13 years! She recently passed the 15 year mark. THAT was the secret I needed! I lost weight before. I knew I could do that. I never kept it off. Now I have the tools. Now I know how.

The journey continues…

Losing 100 lbs in 500 days is a really good rate of weight loss. It is an awesome accomplishment (if I do say so myself.) And it is just the beginning. I could go on for pages and pages about the NSVs (non-scale victories) such as spontaneously stopping a 40-year nail-biting habit without even trying and significantly less fights with my husband. (I love you, Ryan!) I just returned from the Bright Line Eating Family Reunion, which is a conference that consists mostly of Bright Lifers. Lifers are people who have completed the boot camp and elect to “stay close to the mother ship” by paying a membership fee that covers a whole lot of perks. One of those perks is being in a Facebook group where you can ask for and get support when you need it. That’s an awesome perk, and another NSV is that I am much more willing to ask for support when I need it.

But my favorite part about being in this group is the constant stream of success stories. Even the struggles are successes, in their own way, but I am talking about really exciting, indisputable successes. People who started at higher numbers than I did and lost MORE weight in LESS time. People who are taking their first flight without asking for a seat belt extender. People who are wearing their wedding dress again – or sometimes a gawd-awful outfit they have had in their closet for 30 years! People who are healing relationships and setting healthy boundaries. People who are doing some new and fun activity for the first time. And my absolute favorite – people who have seen their doctor and have been taken OFF multiple medications that their healthy body no longer needs. I am constantly grateful for not just this program but the community it is building.

That being said, there are people working this program just from reading the book and watching Susan’s weekly vlog. They people are part of the community too. There are local groups popping up all over the country.

I am not saying that Bright Line Eating is for you. In BLE we often remind each other that this program is not for everyone who needs it; it’s for everyone who wants it. I wasn’t ready for a long time. Until I was. When I started writing this blog I wasn’t ready to say the words “I am a food addict,” but I remember the frustration of knowing more about exercise and nutrition than most people and still not being able to get a handle on it. I didn’t understand how my brain was conniving to get that next hit. I can’t quote the brain science off the top of my head, (pun intended) but that’s why I own the book. And I don’t have to memorize the facts to stick to my plan. The only fact I need to remember is that it works.

This program has changed and saved my life. I don’t want anyone to miss out on it because I was embarrassed to talk about it. If you can relate to my story and want to chat, or if you’ve read the book and want to discuss it, email me at: trina@givencontext.com.

Or leave a comment!