Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. In the first half of this year, I read 27 books. Twelve of those were non-fiction books that I think qualify as “self help.” Maybe a better way of describing these books is to say they are for my personal or professional development, but isn’t that just trying to put a spin on the fact that I am, in fact, trying to help my Self. I have always enjoyed this type of book ever since I read I’m Okay, You’re Okay in high school. I have seriously considered joining or starting a Self Help book club. Here are the books and how much they helped me. (All book title headers in this post are links!)
Sabbatical from YES by Christi Daniels
This book is written by my dear friend Christi. She’s an amazing woman who has found her calling helping other women tap into their own amazingness. I have worked with Christi’s coaching before and I feel like I am pretty good at saying NO, so I wondered how much more I could gain from reading her book. Lots! This is a workshop in book form and it will be as helpful as you let it be by taking her advice and trying out her suggestions. Will your family think you are crazy if they walk in while you are practicing your power pose? Just explain that they should try it too! One of my favorite sections is when she contrasts synthetic vs true pleasure. I believe her when she says we all need an infusion of vitamin P (pleasure.) She says,”It is our right and duty to soak up as much real and sacred pleasure as we can.” Yes, please! Sometimes in life we just need a reminder or “permission.” Granted! So many yummy tidbits in this book. Get it, do the work, see for yourself!
You Are a Badass Every Day by Jen Sincero
This book is meant to be a daily reader that you peruse and ponder, but I got it from the library, so I only had 14 days to read it. This is the third Jen Sincero book that I’ve read in the past year-ish. Last year I read both You Are a Badass and You Are a Badass at Making Money I think the money one was my favorite, because it had less rehashing of some of the same “positive vibe” stuff that I get from a lot of sources. It’s always good to have those positive vibes reinforced, but there does tend to be a lot of overlap in this genre. The money making perspective was a refreshing change. And we have to change the way that we as women think and talk about money. I can’t recall if Sincero gives the old “latte” advise or not, but at least she’s a woman talking about money. #props The Every Day book is nice short snippets and my favorite piece of advice involves driving away from civilization, rolling up your car windows, and screaming bloody murder at the top of your lungs for three whole minutes. Try it.
Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin
This is another of my annual re-reads. This book had a profound effect on my life a few years ago and put me in the right frame of mind to start Bright Line Eating. Understanding myself as a Rebel help me feel less frustration with myself. BTB also introduces a lot of either/or scenarios that help me understand more about myself and others. For instance, did you know we aren’t all morning people? Did you know it’s easier for some people to abstain from something entirely (like sugar) than it is for them to moderate their intake? I’ve been through this book 3 or 4 times now, but I always benefit from listening to it again.
The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
This is a newer book where Gretchen takes a deep dive into each of her Four Tendencies. You get further details on the strengths and weaknesses of each tendency, and explanations of how those two are usually the same thing. There are also great tips on how your tendency typically interacts with others in certain relationships. For instance, my spouse is also a Rebel… I gained some valuable insight there! This one really begs to be owned as a sort of reference manual. You will want this at your fingertips for when you are trying to figure people out. Rubin is good about reminding us that this is only one aspect of a person’s personality, but it covers a lot of ground. Start with Better Than Before, then this one. You can thank me later.
Dark Horse by Todd Rose and Ogi Ogas
Dark Horse was recommended to me because of my aforementioned Rebel tendency. This book is about people who work around the “standardization covenant” to pursue fulfillment and thereby gain their own version of “success.” I loved it, but one time through is not going to be enough. Originally, I got DH from the library, but soon I was downloading it from Audible so I can listen on repeat until it all sinks in. This is a different paradigm and there are a lot of deep-seated ideas that are hard to overcome, even if they are making us miserable. I am one of those people who has no idea what my purpose in life is, so I need to spend a lot more time on that chapter about micro-motives. If you are unhappy with the daily grind, I highly recommend this one for you.
Get Your Sh*t Together by Sarah Knight
The best thing about this book was that it really made me feel like I have my sh*t together. I think the target audience for this book is slightly younger than I am. Obviously I chose this book because I felt like I needed to get it together, but much of the advice was stuff I could put a check mark next to because I am already doing it. My least favorite part was probably the section giving weight loss advice from someone who hasn’t had a real struggle in this area. The “all things in moderation” advice is out of date. Sarah Knight needs to read Better Than Before and recognize that people are different and what works for some people won’t work for all people. She also gives the “skip the latte” line around money and goes into great detail about how this will get you where you want to go. F that! She doesn’t claim to be an expert in nutrition or finance, so these sections are basically the same-old-same-old regurgitation of the same old advice that hasn’t helped you yet if you are reading a book looking for advice on those things… I do think there is some good stuff in here, especially for people who are able to separate the wheat from the chaff and decide which tips will get them closer to their personal goals. My favorite take-away was the What/Why method… and feeling much better about how together I am. Thank you, Sarah.
The Power of Style by Bobbie Thomas
When I was at the library (one of my happy places) to work on my First Quarter Goal Review, I was pulling books off the shelves that had images that inspire me and reinforce those goals. While I was looking for books on design, architecture, art, and beauty this book called out to me. I took it to the table where I opened and arranged various books while filling out my planner then when it was time to go home I took this book with me. I do not consider myself a stylish person. Having lived nearly all of my adult life overweight, my style has always been if-it-fits-and-it’s-cheap-buy-it. I did have some fun experimenting when I subscribed to Gwynnie Bee for several years, but as soon as I cancelled that I quickly went into “black pants” mode. Bobbie Thomas promised to help me with that, and I like her approach. We often hear that we should dress for the job we want to have, but Bobbie proposes that we dress as the person we want to be. My only problem is that I seldom want to be the same person two days in a row. This book made me think about my style, but I did not become anyone’s favorite style icon overnight. Baby steps, right? I am thinking of investing in some florals. Stay tuned.
Radical Candor by Kim Scott
I mostly skimmed this one, and I never do that with a book. I would suggest getting the Cliffs Notes version of this one. If you like podcasts, they have one. I felt like I didn’t need so many examples. There’s some good stuff in here, but some people will need personality transplants to make it happen. I might be one of those people. I have to admit that this book sparks my perfectionist tendencies and makes me want to analyze every word I say to everyone at work. That’s no way to live.
Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson
This one might not really be a self help book, but Lawson does give some advice for how to live a happy life. Some of the stories are just hilarious. I appreciate Jenny’s candidness about her struggles with mental illness. That is what drew me to this book. That being said, there were at least two things in the book that I think I would have kept to myself if I were her. She didn’t. She lays it all out. I think my favorite take-away from this book was not something of Jenny’s but something that she shares that Neil Gaiman said to her. Of course I’m dreadfully jealous that she gets to say “my friend, Neil” but when she was freaked out and feeling inadequate to the task of reading her own audiobook, he told her to “pretend you’re good at it.” Brilliant!
For other references to Neil Gaiman, who I have talked about in my blog more times than Oscar Wilde, so I should probably change my answer on that “favorite author” thing… I mention him in posts here, here, and here, so far. Sadly, my only reference to Oscar Wilde was here.
Authentic Happiness by Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D.
I don’t remember many details about this book, but I gave it four stars on Goodreads, so I must have liked it. Seligman is a big name in positive psychology, so he’s a good resource for this kind of stuff. I think he is so often referenced that I had heard most of his main points before, which may be why I have trouble recalling them now. It can’t hurt to have a refresher on how to actively pursue happiness. I might have to give this one another go.
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
I talked about this book in my post about Audiobooks I Solemnly Swear to Listen to Once Each Year and I started the year with it. I know this book is a little dated, but it has been the go-to resource for everyone who writes books about money, so this gets straight to the source material. My current employer is also one of the great American success stories, so I totally geek out on that part every time. Perhaps my favorite thing about this book is that Hill acknowledges that there’s very little relationship between hard work and monetary reward. I subscribe to the “everything doesn’t always have to be hard” and “flowers don’t *try* to bloom” philosophies. I still think this book is worth repeating until I finally get that mental shift he prescribes. Old ways of thinking die hard.
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
I like what Brene does, and this book takes some of her best stuff and applies it where it is sorely needed – the workplace. She talks about shifts that need to happen in workplace/corporate culture to make it more conducive to courage and vulnerability. She doesn’t say it, but can we just admit that she’s talking about doing away with toxic masculinity and having a more inclusive culture? Yes, please, thank you. There is also some really good stuff in here about what leadership means and that you do not have to be in a position of authority to be a leader. Years ago when I was a supervisor, I went through a frustrated phase at work. Somehow I got the idea to tell myself every day when I got in the car: I’m not going to work, I’m going to lead. It changed how I viewed my daily responsibilities and was very quickly reflected in my attitude and performance.
Brene also suggests thinking about your core values and narrowing them to just two main ones to focus on. If you read this post, you know that I already have mine narrowed to three. Call me a Rebel, (a la, The Four Tendencies mentioned above,) but I am going to keep all three of mine. It is a good reminder to have a couple (or a few) things to use as filters for what gets into your life. This leads us to BOUNDARIES. When you know your core values and keep them simple, it’s easier to set boundaries and hold yourself and others accountable to maintaining them. This is a fantastic book for an office book club. Highly recommend.
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