We are a few days into the new year, and I have been working on setting my goals and determining my focus word for 2022. I won’t reiterate how difficult the past few years have been. You can read my 2021 review and find links to all of my previous ones here. This year promises to bring even more challenges for me, but I am determined to continue putting my best SELF forward. Some days my best self might not be able to get out of bed, but I am going to set some goals to work on when it is a good day. Due to the issues I am having, I have chosen the word CLARITY as my focus for the year.

 

CLARITY

I try to pick a word that can be multipurposed for application within various areas of my life. The struggles I am having with my brain are a huge part of why I picked this word. I won’t pretend that someone with PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, and Anxiety can just magically manifest clarity. When I have these issues causing the kind of symptoms I have seen over the past few years, I know my brain won’t just instantly return to the state that I associate with being “myself.” One way I can get clarity is by accepting that and getting to know my new self. Maybe I can’t learn as quickly or remember as well, but those were not the only things that made me awesome.  I can give myself more clarity about the other ways that I contribute to the world.

Right now clarity means taking a lot of notes and using my planner, phone, and computer. I must make lists and check them twice. I have to make notes of symptoms if I want to remember to talk to t he doctor about them. I also want to be more transparent with the people close to me about how much I am struggling, and this starts with being more honest with myself about how I am doing. A few months ago I had a medication change and it has brought about just enough clarity to see how truly bad things had gotten. I was trying to muscle through, and it wasn’t working, but I couldn’t even see it. Now I can at least see some of it. I’m focused on finding more ways to gain more clarity this year.

GOALS

ACTIVITY

As I mentioned in my 2021 review, staying active is a priority. Newton’s first law and all of that… If I don’t keep moving, I won’t be able to move. I have a method of staving off the worst of my chronic pain right now, and it’s mandatory that I maintain this. The past two years I have met my yearly goal on December 30th, so this year my goal is to hit my goal before that date, even if it is just December 29th.

HOME

This is another area where the term Clarity is making an appearance. I need to continue to clear things out of the house. I also need to get clear on an aesthetic. My home doesn’t currently represent me. I won’t really have a budget to buy new things, but I will start with clearing out things that have been around for way too long. I am truly grateful for furniture pieces that have lasted over 20 years, but I no longer need them. These are tasks that will require having a really good day full of spoons, and I have already enlisted some local help for getting rid of the heavy items. I also have little things like loose doorknobs and iffy light switches that I hope to finally give the attention they deserve. These are the kinds of things that get away from you when you can’t see how bad you are doing.

READ

A few years ago I read over 80 books. That was the year before I started my blog and I knew if I wanted to write and figure out how to make a website, I would need to cut back on reading. That started my method of picking a reading goal to match my age for the year. This year I will read 46 books.

WRITE

I gotta admit… writing blogs is really hard right now. I started off last year writing one per month and listing everything I read. Somewhere along the way I couldn’t do that anymore. I like to do quarterly updates on my goals, but I missed at least one of those last year too. This year I am asking myself to commit to writing six blogs for the year. I have to pay for the website so I want to use it. Wish me luck on this one!

FINANCIAL

I hate to keep talking about the financial issues caused by, firstly, my most recent divorce and, secondly, the health issues that stem from that. This is an area that I will have to get clarity one way or another. The only thing I ever wanted in life, when asked as a teenager, was to be free from financial worries. I’ve had glimpses of that and I have to trust that there is more ease and peace coming my way in this area.

SELF CARE

I have been trying to ramp up my self care over the past few years. In 2021, I had a lot of focus on sleep. This year there will be more emphasis on making sure I eat properly and take my medication at the same time every day. That might seem simple, but these are the things I struggle with. I have a ton of reminders to take meds. The side effects of these things are no fun, but just the smidge of clarity they have given me has been so refreshing. I’ve been taking long hot baths. Another simple thing. I listen to love songs and I direct those words and feelings at myself. I try to use my love language, acts of service, on myself. Driving myself to an appointment is an act of love. I am trying to frame more of the things I do as acts of self care. Anything I can do to put a more positive spin on stuff I am trying to encourage myself to do, every little nudge helps. Because I DO care about myself. Mental illness just makes it really hard to put into practice.

SELF DEVELOPMENT

One of my strengths has always been my love of learning. It breaks my heart how hard it is for me right now. I’m not willing to resign myself to saying I can’t learn anymore. At the same time, I have to take off the pressure to perform and “prove myself.” So I am going to explore a few things that have zero consequences if I screw them up or can’t grasp them. I’m checking out books on interior design from the library and giving myself permission not to read a single word but just look at the pictures. I made a few YouTube videos last year and I would like to learn how to add subtitles. Even if my brain seems to be betraying me, I want to attempt to give it something. We will see how any of this goes.

On My Way!

Goal-setting is something I am passionate about, and I look forward to this time of year for reflection and planning. I have a pretty good track record of achieving things that I set out to do. One thing that helps is that I plan to be flexible. I hope you are setting some goals and working towards some kind of self-development this year. I would love to hear about your plans for 2022.