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A spur of the moment selection

I know that Rachel Hollis is a blogger and lifestyle guru. Well, I know that now, after reading Girl, Wash Your Face. I don’t remember ever hearing of her before I picked up this book in the airport on my way to my first-ever solo vacation. I tend to be a bit of a worry-wart, and the only book I had was on my phone, and the only boarding pass I had for my connection was on my phone, so I worried about draining the battery and decided to buy an actual paper book.

It might be worth mentioning that the book I read prior to this one was How to Walk Away, which involves the main character getting paralyzed in a plane wreck. I will also admit that I started my vacation immediately after being told that I was NOT getting the promotion I applied for at work. Suffice it to say, I was looking for something lighter and more cheerful than “The Woman in the Window.” Therefore, I chose this book about the lies that women believe and how they hold us back from living up to our fullest potential.

Enjoy the view

Here is another admission: I have not been on many plane rides. This was my 5th trip that involved flying. This was also my longest flight ever, being my first trip to California. I spent a lot of time checking out the beautiful terrain of the American West. The diversity of this country enthralls me. What a wonderful opportunity to have a god’s-eye view of so much of it on an early morning flight! Maybe it’s because I’m a noob, but I love having a window seat and staring out the window until my neck is aching. Despite all of my window-gazing, I made it about 2/3 of the way through this book on my way to San Diego. By then I felt like I knew Rachel Hollis much better.

While Girl, Wash Your Face is a fairly quick read, it is more simple than easy. There were a few chapters that I breezed through. Then there were the chapters that I had to pause several times to get through. Then there were a few that had me really hoping my seat-mate was napping and wouldn’t notice my sniffling and crying. Every chapter is an example of a Lie the author has believed and the hard lessons that helped her see the truth. Rachel Hollis has a tribe. The impression I get is that her tribe expects transparency and for-real-realness from her. She delivers here.

The Truth

I think I was still in the introduction when she mentioned that the book is from a Christian publisher. I will admit (as long as we are being transparent) that I thought maybe I picked up the way-wrong book. There was an instant fear of being preached at, which was not what my current mood needed at all. Gladly, I am far enough down my own road of understanding my tendency to be judgemental (See Chapter 4, “The Lie: I’m Better Than You) to remind myself not to make assumptions and to let the book speak for itself. I think this particular Christian publisher took some risks publishing such a candid memoir covering everything from sex to alcohol, but the New York Times Bestseller status would indicate it paid off.

The truth is, I am not better than Rachel Hollis, and she is not better than me. We have quite a bit in common. One of the lies she discusses is that women feel defined by their weight. I have lost 100 pounds, and I feel more defined by my weight than ever. It was nice to be reminded that I can get past that.

Hobgoblins

My favorite quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson:

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds…. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and to-morrow speak what to-morrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said to-day.

Why do I include this here? Well… because there are some inconsistencies in this book that simultaneously left me uncomfortable and encouraged. At the end of each chapter Rachel shares tips for getting at the truth behind the lie. In chapter 11: Other People’s Kids Are So Much Cleaner/Better Organized/More Polite, one of her tips is about boxed wine.

Firstly, I know many Christians who drink, but I was still surprised by so many drinking references in a book from a Christian publisher. Secondly, I am not a huge fan of the wine-drinking boom in our current culture. As someone who deals with my own addiction, and as someone who has been impacted by alcoholism, I can’t get on board with encouraging people to drink their problems away.

Then I get to chapter 18 in which the lie is: I Need a Drink. If the chapters were written in order, it might seem like chapter 11 should have been edited in light of 18. There are only 20 chapters, so what if someone just gets to the boxed wine and decides that was the “truth” that they needed? Problems solved!

Speak what you think now

This is when I refer by to my friend Emerson and remind myself that (for Rachel) both of those things were 100% true. She most likely didn’t write them on the same day. So she spoke her chapter 11 truth in chapter 11 and then spoke chapter 18’s truth when she got there. The Emersonian in me has to be cool with that, because I reserve the right to do the same thing. I reserve the right to change my mind, or to be wrong, or to get new information that leads me to a new conclusion. Whether I write a chapter or an entire book on it, that thing I said doesn’t get to define me for the rest of my life.

Now, it might define me to other people who will judge me based on what they see and hear. Sadly, nowadays there is no filing social media bankruptcy and starting over. When you put something out there, you risk letting other people use it to define you for the rest of your life and beyond. I think that’s a shame, because I think people should be allowed and encouraged to grow, learn, and change. I think Rachel Hollis shares some good ways to do that in Girl, Wash Your Face.